Monday, September 28, 2009

Smiley-A-Thon: 20 Smileys Buys My Humor-Blogs Membership

OK. OK. I know that I haven't written on my blog in like FOREVER, but I have become so infatuated with Twitter (follow me) and my ability to write short little blips, that the thought of sitting to write a lengthy blog has sent my head into a spiral the size of a Wizard of Oz tornado.

However, I do know that there is no place like home. And this blog is the true home for all those crazy thoughts that swirl around in my head and demand to be made known to the general public in a completely anonymous way.

Also, I know that most of my regular readers come from Humor-Blogs, which is the absolute best site for humor blogs on the internets/world wide super info highway web thing. And since I haven't seen any news reports that Humor-Blogs has now been valued at $1 Billion without having any way to turn any sort of profit, I understand that Mr. Diesel must subsidize his outlays.

Therefore, I have decided that if the Humor-Blogs community truly loves me and wants to have my blog stick around on the site, then I would like each and every one of you to give me a Smiley for this post.

One Smiley = One Dollar

So all I need is 20 Smileys in order to buy my membership to the site. Truth be told, I will most likely buy it anyway, but for the love of God people let me feel like you WANT me to do it.

With that, I bid you ado and happy smiling. Stickman out!

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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Interpretive Dance Health Coverage

Today, as I have been pondering the potential reform in our current healthcare system in the United States, while at the same time, pondering my love for interpretive dance, it goes with out saying that the obvious question came to mind. Will our new public healthcare system cover injuries incurred while performing interpretive dance?

I, for one, believe that these injuries should be covered. It only seems fair that my healthcare plan should not stand in the way of my choreographing of some of the finest dance routines to ever be performed. I should not have to worry about going bankrupt due to an unfortunate interpretive dance accident. How could I ever be truly free to move if I had that fear in my head the whole time.

Say, for instance that I am really getting into my amazing hand motions for the current Green Day single, "21 Guns" when I begin to feel the onset of carpel tunnel. I should know that I am free to continue the shooting of my finger pistol, and once the routine has been completed I can go to the emergency room and KNOW without a doubt that I will be seen and my injury covered.

If I were to dislocate a shoulder during my routine for Jordin Sparks' "Battlefield" then the same should hold true. Or perhaps if I were to break a finger while performing my sweet moves for Beyonce's "Single Lady" then the doctors should like it and put a cast on it!

I'm just saying!

For more insight, be sure to follow StickmanMusings on Twitter. I guarantee you that I am the funniest person on Twitter with an account called StickmanMusings! You can take that to the bank.

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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

You All Think I'm Smart...You Should Meet My Dog!

I'm certain that members of my family would think a more fitting title to this post would be "You All Think I'm Odd...You Should Meet My Dog!" But as I think I have proven here in the past, I'm not sure my family can be trusted with the determination of what is odd or not odd. You should meet these people!

I just have to tell you that our new puppy is about the smartest dog that will ever be born. Here are some thinks that certify her as an actual genius:

She can fetch already. Although we are still working on letting go of the ball once she brings it back.

She can find home. We take her on walks around the neighborhood and when we get back by home she knows exactly where to go.

She can make her toys squeak. This one was exciting at first when she figured out where to bite to make the noise, however, the more she figures it out it gets a bit annoying.

She kinda gets the potty training. Despite a few accidents occasionally, she is really figuring out the potty training thing. She has a 95% accuracy rating.

She watches TV. At the risk of straining her neck, she will sit on the floor and crane her head around to see the TV hanging above the fireplace in the family room.

She likes music. Everybody knows that babies that listen to music end up smarter, right? I think I heard something about that somewhere. Last night she intently watched Boy Child play his acoustic guitar until it finally lulled her to sleep.

She can drive a car. OK, I made that one up, but we have a competition going between us and our in-laws (who have our puppy's sister) about who has the better and smart dog. So we exaggerate a little bit.
OK. That's about all that I've got. Sure, you're saying all puppies can do that stuff, but what you don't understand is how awesome she is at it. I see great potential. We could realistically be looking at the next Lassie here.

If any of my readers happen to fall down a well, rest assured that Presley will let me know right away, and someone will be coming to your rescue. Also, if you go blind or have your uterus taken out, she will be there to assist you across the street.

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