Them Are Some Mighty Fine Odds

Being a poker player, I love calculating odds.  So today, when I received a newsletter in my inbox that had a bunch of odds on it, I thought I would share some with you here.  I hope you enjoy.

The odds are 1 out of 3,333,333 that you will be killed in a mass murder this year.  - The Week Magazine

I like my odds here.

The odds are 1 out of 9 that you live with your parents or in-laws if you’re between age 35 and 44. - The Week Magazine

Ironically, the odds are also 1 out of 9 that you are a loser.

The odds are 1 out of 12 that you have used an illegal drug within the past month. - Parade Magazine

Whaaat?!?  Who told you that?  Crazy!

The odds are 2 out of 3 that you’re currently overweight. - Time Magazine

Try 3 out of 3!  Whoever did this study obviously has never been to my local mall!

The odds are 1 out of 182 that you subscribe to an adult-content website if you live in Utah. - Discover Magazine

Damn Mormans are pervs!

The odds are 1 out of 3 that you have a criminal record, if you have graduated from the Atlanta Police Academy. - The Week Magazine

Good to be the PoPo in Atlanta, apparently.  Who better to catch a crook than a crook, I guess.

The odds are 1 out of 14 that a car accident in the United States is a result of a distraction caused by a cell phone. - San Diego Union

This one has to be on the rise.  I saw a girl the other day holding her cigarrette out the window with one hand, texting with the other hand, and driving with her knee.  At 55MPH in traffic.

The odds are 1 out of 30 that a human death in 2007 was a direct result of alcohol. - Medical News Today

If you have to die, you may as well enjoy it.  What a way to go!

The odds are 1 out of 9 that a human death in 2007 in Alaska was a direct result of alcohol. - Medical News Today

Eskimos be drinkin!  Snowmobiling under the influence.  Ironically, 8 out of 9 human births were also the direct result of alcohol.

The odds are 1 out of 3 that if you have a baby in America this year, it will be out–of-wedlock. - The Week Magazine

Bastards!

The odds are 1 out of 4 that you have genital herpes (if you’re an adult that lives in New York City). - Yahoo! News

Note to self...careful on the public toilets when visiting NYC in a few weeks.

The odds are 1 out of 7 that you visited New York City last year. - The Week Magazine

Also, 1 out of 28 of you now have genital herpes.

The odds are 1 out of 10,000 that you will get injured by a toilet this year. - San Diego Union

Does genital herpes count as "injured?"

The odds are 1 out of 7,143 that you have a brain tumor. - North County Times

It's NOT a tumor!

The odds are almost 2 out of 3 that if you’re an American woman you would rather be poor and thin than rich and fat - The Week Magazine

Such idiots!  I would rather be rich and thin.  Duh!

The odds are 1 out of 290 that a person in America is an illegal alien. - Time Magazine

Again, whoever did this study has obviously not been to my local mall.

The odds are 1 out of 500 that you visited Graceland last year. - Time Magazine

I did that!  Read about my trip to Graceland.

The odds are 1 out of 5 that you believe the best way to get rich is to win the lottery. - Yahoo News

Odds are also 1 out of 5 that you are a redneck.  Seriously though, I often dream of winning the lottery.

The odds are 1 out of 200 that you will turn up missing this year, if you’re an Alaskan. - Boston Globe

So we have a 1% chance of getting rid of Sarah Palin.  Wish those odds were better.

I'm not sure what the odds are on you having enjoyed this post, but I sure hope they are good.  I hope you enjoyed these numbers as much as I have (since I have been accused of being a math nerd).

Stickman out!

Who Decided It Was Nerdy To Like Math?

Mrs. Stickman recently referred to me to someone as a "math nerd."  I was a little taken aback by the obvious slap in the face to my abundant coolness.  Who is this person that decided if you like to perform mathematical problems, then you must be a nerd?  If you ask me, that's racial profiling!

I freely admit that I love math.  One of the reasons that I love playing poker so much is that it involves constant math.  In fact, Mrs. S was referring my poker skills when she called me a math nerd.  Is poker for nerds?  I think not!  Well, maybe it is actually.

I try to involve math in to everything that I do in life.  When we are on a road trip (before GPS came along and did all this for me) I will constantly recalculate arrival time based on miles left and current speed.  I could also calculate miles per gallon.  Time to get to the next state line, or big city.  There is just a plethora of math problems involved with driving long distances.  It is awesome!

When I lay in bed at night and can't sleep, I pick a number and begin multiplying to the nth power.  2 x 2 is 4 x 2 is 8 x 2 is 16 x 2 is 32, etc until I can't go any farther.  Fun stuff!

Does all of this make me nerdy?  I dare say NOT!  In my opinion it is incredibly COOL to do math.  I love that I can tell you what my odds of winning a poker hand are, and how high of a bet it is in my favor or not to call based on those odds.  It makes me a math STUD not a math NERD.

So, I say Mathies unite!  Let's fight the stigma of math as nerdy.  And maybe we can work on the computer nerd stereotype while we're at it too!

Stickman out!

I Love TV, But Man Does It Suck Sometimes

We are having a wonderful rainy day, so we are sitting inside trying to stay entertained. It's not working!

We have 400 channels on cable, plus On Demand content, plus DVR, plus about 500 DVD's downstairs, yet I can not find one single solitary thing to watch! I am more frustrated that Susan Boyle trying to get kissed. It's just ridiculous.

So I have ended up spending the whole day playing online poker, while I watch poker on TV. It's kind of a theme day I guess.

I've come up with this wonderful plan where the cable networks will let you buy channels a la carte. So instead of having 400 channels - 380 of which I never watch - I could just pick the 20 or 30 channels that I actually watch and pay for them.

The price per channel would be based on it's popularity. So maybe my cable bill is $30 instead of $100, and I have the added bonus of not having to look through so many stupid channels that distract me!

Cable companies are a big racket. They are evil. They may be the antichrist, although I don't know that a whole company can be the antichrist. I think that is just one person. But if it could be a whole company, then it would be a cable company. And it could use the cable to brainwash us. And the mark of the best would be the little red spot on my thumb from pushing the channel button so much.

If you work for the cable company, then I'm sorry I said these bad things about you, but I'm really not so F you!

Stickman out!