Friday, September 24, 2010

A Cougar no Longer

With my birthday rapidly approaching, making Mrs. Stickman and I "technically" the same age, I will no longer be able to refer to her as a cougar. At least not for another six months.

Why is this a problem? Well, I'm glad that you asked.

I take a certain pride in being both young and hip. (Forget the fact that I am neither A: young or B: hip, and just hear me out here as I enter a land of make believe.) There is a certain awesomeness that comes along with being me. Everyone notices this, as much as I try to hide it.

While Mrs. S is for all intents and purposes much cooler and younger looking than me, it is a real boost to the ego that she is older than me. I like to picture her as an older lady that landed her a young, hot stud muffin - with me being said muffin.

One downside of the wife being older is that she is a big jerk to me, and makes fun of me pretty much all the time. I know you are thinking that she would do that no matter how old she was. And while that is true, the problem comes into play on the RARE occasion that I may actually razz her back a little bit. As soon as I say something snotty to her, the kids both chime in with, "you have to respect your elders." Little bastards. Who's respecting me?

Aside from all this cougar stuff, getting old just sucks. The grey hair is cool, the thinning hair is not. The knowing what you like is cool, the not being able to have it because your metabolism is shot is not. The having the money to go places you want to go is cool, the having to take the damn kids is not.

The more I live, the more I enjoy life. I think if I could go back and do things differently, there is a lot that I would like to change. The old "if I knew then what I think I know now" saying is a hard one to ignore.

However, if I changed things then I wouldn't be who I am now, or who I am with now. And I wouldn't trade life now for one single friend in high school. Which is one more that what I had at the time!

So I'm me, and I'm old. Deal with it! Stickman out.

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