Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Terrible Tuesdays - Another Special Edition

What is it with Tuesdays that make them so terrible?  So many bad things going on in the world.  Here is my list of terrible things this Tuesday:

Ed McMahon dies.  The Tonight Show sidekick is dead?  This is terrible on so many fronts.   Who the hell is going to say "Heeeeeere's Johnny!" now?  Or, "you sir are correct!"  And I think this means there is a pretty good chance that he is never going to show up on my doorstep with a check for a million dollars now.  Crap!  I've been waiting for years.  At least he doesn't have to worry about his house getting foreclosed on now.

Jon & Kate divorce.  What?!?  Really?!?  If you are anything like me, and absolutely love celebrity gossip, then I'm sure you have been very annoyed with all the tabloid coverage of Jon & Kate's marital problems.  Because - spoiler alert - they are NOT celebrities.  They are so annoying.  Especially her.  I would like to give her a new hairstyle using nothing more than a frying pan.  I wish instead of a divorce they would have announced a murder/suicide pact.

Iran elects - or doesn't.  I knew that Iran was behind the United States in a lot of things, including election processes, but I didn't know that it was just 8.5 years behind us.  Iran's election is taking longer to decide that the old Bush/Gore debacle.  Except instead of counting hanging chads, they are actually hanging guys that may or may not be named chad.  I love how they claim there is no way it could be fraud because the margin was so wide.  Apparently they only cheat enough to get by - don't want to overdo it!

Heat rises.  It's so hot everywhere.  Global warming rocks.  Miami has hottest day in over 60 years.  Obama has to move his press conference due to humidity.  Mrs. Stickman and girl child cancelled their trip to the beach today because it was too hot.  Perez Hilton is hotter than he's ever been, because he got beat up by a guy he called a faggot (I'd be mad too), and then his own GLAAD gets MAAD (I don't know what that means exactly).  What's with all this heat?

Hopefully, this with be the last Terrible Tuesdays, but I wouldn't count it.  The world is going to hell in a handbasket.  It's just going to get terribler and terribler (channeling Charles Barkley).  At least it's only bad on Tuesdays.  The rest of the time the world rocks!

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