Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy and Stickman

Sunday night we watched a Saturday Night Live special that showed a bunch of their best "shorts."  Throughout this show they aired a bunch of the old Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy thingies.  Oh, my goodness... I had forgotten how frickin hilarious those things were.  

When I was younger, I used to LOVE the deep thoughts.  They were always so out there and so bizarre.  The fact that they made no sense is what made them so great.  I oft aspired to be as odd as Jack Handy.  Sometime I achieve this oddity, and sometimes I fail.  I seem to have the odd thing going pretty well, it's the making it funny part that I lack!

I dug around and found some of my favorite Deep Thoughts, and I present them to you here:

"The beaver was probably the last thing God ever invented, because after He made it, He just said 'It don't get no better 'n that.'  (Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you, God is a hillbilly.)"
"A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend like you got bit by a snake.  Then, start an argument with him about who's going to go get help.  A lot of times guys will start crying.  That's why it makes you feel good when you finally tell them it was just a joke."
"If you go to a Martian funeral, I think it's okay to snicker and laugh a little bit, because come on, the guy was a Martian."
"When I saw the old bum pushing his grocery cart down the street, at first I felt sorry for him.  But then when I saw what was in his cart I thought, well, now wonder you're a bum, look at the dumb things you bought."
"Instead of a regular arm, Carl had been born with a pigeon's wing.  The odd thing was, all through his life, no one had ever laughed at his wing -- not even the mean kids at school.  Then one day he realized why:  He looked in the mirror and saw that he was a pigeon!  He shit right there, as he often did, wherever he was."

There are a million of them, and I don't care who you, they are funny!  I highly encourage you to check out the site.

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