Thursday, May 21, 2009

Reason #1,432,394 That I Refuse To Shop At Walmart

Of all the stores in the world, none has become more associated with Redneck and/or WT (white trash) people than "The Walmart" has.  Sometimes, after you haven't been in one of their stores for a decade or so, you begin to think that this is just some kind of stereotype, and Walmart is actually filled with thousands of perfectly normal people.  

Then, something like this story comes along, and instantly reminds you that it's not just a stereotype, and you should never cross the threshold of those automatic doors and be greeted by an old person in a blue vest again.

Memphis police are searching for a shoplifting suspect who used a tiny baby as a weapon against a security guard during an escape attempt Wednesday.

The incident happened early Wednesday afternoon at Wal-Mart on Austin Peay in Raleigh, where police say a woman was caught shoplifting. While attempting to escape, the woman hurled her two-month old nephew at a security guard. The infant, seated in a carrier, fell onto the concrete floor.

The suspect then threw the baby at a good samaritan who tried to tend to the infant.

The suspect ran from the store and escaped in a blue Ford Escort, abandoning the baby and his mother, who was in the women's restroom during the incident.

The child's mother tended to him as the infant was treated in the back of an ambulance.

Child abuse investigators are working with the infant's family to locate the suspect.

Officials said the baby will be okay. Neither the loss prevention officer nor the good samaritan were seriously injured.

All requests for comment from Wal-Mart management were referred to the retailer's corporate office.

Really?  Who are these people?  I mean, really?!?!  Who throws a baby?  And who uses a baby as a weapon?  That is quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

I'm don't want to be one to stereotype, or cast judgement.... hell, who am I kidding, that is exactly what I want to do!  Seriously though, here are some facts that my investigation uncovered.
  • The baby's mother was in the bathroom because she was putting on layers of stolen clothes under her own clothes.  
  • The carrier the infant was seated in still had a price tag on it.
  • The blue Ford Escort belonged to the old lady greeter.
  • Loads of drugs were later found missing from the ambulance.
I ask it again - who are these people?  Find the answer at a Walmart near you!

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1 comment:

  1. oh please, baby as weapon, what next a dollar bill.......