Saturday, March 21, 2009

I Have No Friends

I am a smart, funny, not hideous looking, OK dressing guy. There is nothing blatantly wrong with me that I know of. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, but gosh darn it people don't like me!

Well, that's not actually true. I guess people like me OK - if I give them a chance to. I just don't make friends well. I guess I just don't connect with people well. And I know that most of that is my fault.

When I meet (or even just see somebody) they quickly fall in to one of 3 categories. 1. Too Cool For Me. 2. Not Cool Enough For Me. 3. Let's Be BFF's.

Group 1: I am never comfortable around them because I know that they are better than me in some way. Better looking. Better dressed. Smarter. Wealthier. In some way they make me a loser, and I don't think I'm good enough to waste their time with me.

Group 2: I feel like if I spent time with them, the people in group one would definitely never like me. Or these may be people who are stupid, weird looking, or generally annoy the living crap out me. Even though this seems like egotism, I guess it is really insecurity that group one people won' t like me if they see me with group two people.

Group 3: These are people that I find well balanced with me. These are people that I could connect with maybe.

The problem is that so many people go into the first two groups due to my extreme insecurity, that it is a very rare occurrence when I meet someone like this. And when I do, I usually become so socially inept that I usually screw up any chance of a friendship.

I would say that most people think I come off as a snob. But it is mostly insecurity. I know I may seem all outgoing here on the blog, but as I've said before - in person, that only happens if I am very comfortable around you. And I don't get comfortable around many people.

Another problem, is that I hate small talk and typically find it to be a waste of time. And I am not a typical "guy's guy." I know nothing about sports, or cars, and I'm not the guy that sits and talks about women. So, most guys, I could care less about anything they talk about. And, likewise, they could care less about anything I talk about. The only thing I can ever connect to other guys on is Poker.

If I didn't have my very best friend in the whole wide world, Mrs. Stickman, I would be a very lonely man. But she is my absolute bestest friend, and about the only person I want to spend time with. The only exception is, of course, the kids and some family that we love to be around.

I know this may sound like a whiny, woe is me type blog. But it's not. I don't have any friends. But I don't really want any either. I have my wife, and my family, and that is all that I need. They keep me happy, and they keep me entertained for sure. And - most of the time - the make me feel loved and valued. What more could anyone want?

Now, I need to go. Mrs. Stickman wants to use this computer to play her Sponge Bob Diner Dash game go out to eat. Stickman out!
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