Sunday, March 8, 2009

The World's Best Biography

Throughout daily life we see and hear a lot of things. I like to make things personal for the kids, so I will relate what we see or hear to a personal story for them. It really brings history alive for them... yeah, that's why I do it. For some reason I don't think they believe most of my stories, but I keep telling them nonetheless.

The following is a list of some of the things that I have told my family I have done in the past:

I am a CIA Spy. This is my favorite story. I can relate almost all of my other stories back to this one. I love saying things like, "if you ever see a yellow umbrella open and sitting in our yard, get out of the house immediately!" Being a spy has taught me most of my skills, like how to fix any household problem with a shoe, a butter knife, and a spatula.

My love of spydom is no secret and has even caused Mrs. Stickman some great stress. The in-laws bought me a "how to be a spy" book once, that was full of things like how to make small bombs out of household products. Well, I decided to take this book with us on one of our trips to New York. She was so nervous when we were going through airport security! Especially when they took me into a little plexiglass room for more detailed searching. Good times!

I was Elvis during the 60's. This one is closely related to the CIA stuff. Elvis was really a secret agent for the CIA and after his military duty he went into the agency full time, performing various acts of a lethal nature around the world. I was the CIA agent that was assigned as an Elvis look-alike during the 60's. That's why Elvis only did movies and no live performances in that time-period. I'm good, but not THAT good. Duh! I'm going to write a book about this one some day.

I have won 64 Olympic Medals. I have won Olympic gold medals in nearly every competition that they have. I am such a good competitor that I even won a Sychronized Swimming medal all by myself. It's true! Ask my kids! Other sports include: swimming, gymnastics, track and field, fencing, weight lifting, basketball, rowing, luge, skiing, bicycling, and many many more.

I have fought in every major war. I mean every war. The War for Independance, The Civil War, WWI, WWII, Vietnam. All of them. I have quite a history, and have led a lot of troops and won a lot of medals. Occasionally, I have flashbacks and have to jump behind walls or drop on the ground and crawl.

I have been President. My name doesn't show up in the history books because I was undercover. The story is so top secret that I am not authorized to tell anyone which president I was.

I am an American Idol. I'm sure that this is one they definately believe. My singing is that good! The whole family just loves to hear me sing. They say things like, "Oh great. He's singing again." And lot's of times they just say, "Wow." I render them speachless with my voice. The daughter even says, "that was like half Jesus and half Fergie." It's angelic.

These are just a few of my moments of greatness. The list is far too long to put it all down here.

It's like I'm a real-life Forrest Gump! It's amazing all of the different moments in history that I have stumbled into. (In fact the movie Forrest Gump was based on me.) But I'm happy to have played such an important role in history, and glad that I can be a role model for my children - and yours too!

Just imagine if they would unclassify my entire story so that I could tell everything. That will be a great day!
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