Thursday, March 19, 2009

Paula Abdul - A Waste Of Vocal Chords

I know it's not just me, and I know that thousands of people have written about this, but WTF is Paula Abdul talking about??  Ever!

I am a great listener, and I think I am exceptionally gifted at getting the gist of what someone is trying to say.  I find that many times I know what the person is saying halfway through what they are saying, and if they would just SAY it, then I wouldn't have to waste so much time listening to them.

But even with my super listening powers, even I don't know what the hell Paula Abdul is trying to say.  And it's probably because SHE doesn't know what the hell she is trying to say.  I believe that she literally things one syllable at a time.  She can't even come up with one whole WORD at a time.  That is how pathetic this little, soggy brain is.  Perhaps too much bouncing around while dancing has permanently damaged her brain.

I found this quote by Paula:
"Constructive criticism is about finding something good and positive to soften the blow to the real critique of what really went on."
That would  be GREAT if she ever actually got the real critique.  Instead of just all of the "good and positive" ramblings and general nonsense.  I swear this woman makes up more words that Dubya Bush, and that's saying something.

And besides the fact the everything that comes out of her mouth is pointless, there is the constant standing up, the dancing, the ridiculous outfits, the underarm fat that is always highlighted by the ridiculous outfits, and her general - to use one of her favorite terms - essence.

It would have been nice if the 4th judge they got would have been decent, then they could get rid of Paula next season.  She is better than Paula and Randy though.  Randy is pretty pointless too.  He is just Mr. Cliche, and he seems to really try to hard.  Dawg, just relax and tell us what you think.  When you do, it's usually pretty good.  But cut out all of the catchphrases, and slang, and attempts to be humorous.  And when you say something and don't get a laugh, no need to say it again... we heard you, it just wasn't funny!

All Hail King Simon!  Why don't they just have a Uni-Judge?

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