Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Earth Day - Celebrate This Planet Before It Turns Into A Ball Of Fire!

Today is Earth Day.  As if you didn't know.  It's all anyone is talking about.  Well, I guess there is a lot of talk about Susan Boyle, too, but other than that it's pretty much only Earth Day.  Or the economy.  Or American Idol.  Or Hugo Chavez and Obama being BFF's.  OK OK.  I get it.  So a few people are talking about Earth Day a little bit.  Sheesh.

Earth Day ranks right up there with Grandparent's Day or Boss's Day.  It barely edged past Put My Wiener In A Meat Grinder Day as my all time favorite "day."

Anyway, as a Midwesterner, I am fully in support of Earth.  I love what it is doing with global warming.  Anything that makes it warmer here gets my vote.  Most of the winter, I stand on the deck spraying 99 cent cans of Aquanet into the air.  I figure I should do my part to deplete the Ozone Layer like every good earthling that lives in a cold climate.  Screw those people in the tropics, they had their turn!

I can't wait until Uranus Day because that would just be awesome to celebrate - just because it's such a fun word to say.  Pluto Day would also be fun because so many people would get it confused with the Disney character, and all these young kids and stupid ladies would be walking around wearing shirts with the a cartoon dog on them saying "happy Pluto Day" to everyone.  ( I know... Pluto isn't technically a "planet" anymore, but it will always be in my heart.)

Speaking of... what is the deal with grown ups that wear Disney clothes?  I don't get it at all.  You are a 40 year old woman, you most likely weigh at least 250 pounds (from what I can tell that is a requirement.  Disney must make kids sizes and then jump straight to Adult 2XL), you have no kids anywhere around you, you are NOT inside a Disney park.... so why THE HELL are you wearing a Disney shirt?

Anywho... Happy Earth Day!  Be sure to plant a tree, or just hug one if you don't have a shovel, or a baby tree, or a damn to give.  I'm doing my part by writing this blog online instead of using paper!  

Every bit helps!  We know the Environmental Protection Agency is doing their part by eradicating Bedbugs.

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  1. Well, I was telling everybody that I was celebrating by not eating gassy foods but for you, I guess I’ll have ONE burrito. Also, stop talking about my anus, m’mkay?

  2. I, too, am a mmidwesterner who loves all this global warming! Oh, and I hate fat people who Disney as well. We must be soul mates :)

  3. Bee... your contribution is very much appreciated. At least by those of us at a distance.

    Brooke... you gotta love global warming and you gotta hate those damn disney-ers. And Mrs. S is the only soul mate for me!

  4. I never wear Disney clothes simply because they don't come with plunging necklines.

  5. There's a Bossy Day???!!! Oh, you said Boss' Day. Never mind.