Monday, April 27, 2009

If One of Those Pigs Gets Me Sick...

In an effort to stay healthy I have decided to go all Michael Jackson and wear a surgical mask, as well as one bedazzled glove for shaking hands and touching stuff (i.e. filthy bathroom doors, computers, and phones, children - no wait, that's what HE uses it for).

The last thing I want is to get sick as a pig.  Next thing you know, I will be rolling around in my own crap or being cut up for bacon.  Neither of which sounds appealing.

I'm also hoping that this mask and glove will protect me not only from the swine virus, but also from the conficker virus.  The last thing I want is some worm in me that will make me start sending junk emails to everyone I know.  Plus it just sounds gross.

I know some people who have already been infected with both of these illnesses.  I'm pretty sure that girl child is infected with that swine thing, because I saw her eating breakfast this morning and she was slopping up that cereal.  And she may have gotten it from boy child, because he always eats like a pig.

And I have co-workers that must have come down with conficker, because they are always sending me stupid forward junk mail.  Speaking of, I hate getting all the stupid forwards where if I don't send it on to 7 people then I will burn in eternal fire, or Bill Gates will murder my children, or it means I am generally just a bad person.  I think you are a bad person if you DO forward those on.  And also, if you DO send a forward, how about deleting the 6,000 email addresses of all the other people that forwarded it so I don't have to scroll down for 2 miles to find the damn email.

And that's all I have to say about that.  What a tangent.

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  1. I just wrote a post about this swine flu thing, too. Although, I did have a different take on the subject :)

  2. Ditto on the email forwarding. I hope everyone that sends me their junkmail forwards gets a good case of the swine flu.

  3. I think email forwarding and tangents are symptoms of the swine flu, aren't they?