Monday, April 6, 2009

Perverts and The Sandman

Inside taking a break from the wind. It is so unbelievably windy out there. If we would have set out there and not moved for half an hour, we would have been buried by the blowing sand. I have sand in places that I didn't even know I had places. I had so much sand in my butt crack that the friction from walking back up to the condo formed a pearl!

I kept thinking about the guy from Spiderman. The Sandman I think he name was. That's who I feel like. Here he is:

The most disturbing thing on the trip so far is the number of perverts - both young and old - that seem to be here. I am totally used to guys checking out my wife everywhere I go. It has become a part of life. Even though she will never believe admit it, she gets checked out all the time. She's so hot.

The really disturbing thing this year, however, is the number of guys that are checking out the girl child. It's just not right! I have decided that I will be finding her a very large moomoo dress that she can wear the rest of our time here. And to up the protection level, I am going to screen print "I'm 14" very large on the front and back. If that doesn't get these dirty old men to stop looking at her, then I don't know what will. It's just ridiculous.

We got Boy Child a new skim board last night and he is totally geeked. He picked up skim boarding about 5 years ago, but he has been growing nonstop so we never could justify buying him the professional type skim board. This year he has reached the biggest one they make, so we got it for him. He thinks he is just badass now. Although, once after a couple of falls, he came up by us on the beach and said he "needed to rest his ego." Good one.

I actually helped his ego earlier though. He has a thing for standing as if he has been stricken with scoliosis. So, Mrs. S is always telling him to stand up straight. She told him that earlier and he stood up very proper and rather queer looking. I said to him, "She said stand up straight, not stand up gay." That put him in his place!

OK....back out the face the sand pelting up against me like a 1,000 tiny spears. I feel like I am living Gulliver's Travels.

Stickman Out!
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  1. I tried my son's skim board once. Yes, only once. Have fun!

  2. PHFL... I was quite a skim boarder back in my day, but I know if I tried it now, I wouldn't be able to move for a week.