Thursday, April 23, 2009

I Knew Spiderman Liked To Swing - Just Didn't Know He Swung Both Ways

I'm watching American Idol last night, and the local news keeps teasing a story about Adam Lambert playing Spiderman.  Really?!?  Mrs. Stickman and I laughed at the absurdity of that.  Lambert just doesn't seem like the Spiderman type.  

From the very first second that Adam appeared on screen during American Idol auditions, I picked him to win this year.  From the very second second that Adam appeared on screen, I picked him to be a flaming queer homosexual.  

I just couldn't see Spiderman being a homo.  It just didn't fit.  Can you picture Spiderman fighting the Green Goblin, and Goblin says, "quit shooting those sticky webs at me, Spiderman."  And Spiderman says, "that's not webs, Goblie!" followed by a wink wink.  

No thank you!  They would have to replace Mary Jane with Marty John.  And that's just not right.  Can you imagine the upside down kiss with two dudes?  Or they would have to change it from Spiderman to Spiedherman, and have him steal some woman's man.

Then I find out that the Spiderman production that Lambert is (or was actually - he couldn't do it because he made it onto American Idol) being considered for is a Broadway show.  Really?!?  Spiderman on Broadway.  With hit songs like "Swinging in The Rain" I figured.  

But then it got interesting when I found out that most of the songs for the show were written by U2's Bono and The Edge.  Now I'm actually interested in seeing this show, with Adam Lambert in it.  Sign me up, put the tickets in the mail, I'll be there.

So, ladies and gentleman, Spiderman is gay.  Not that there's anything wrong with that!

Digg Technorati Delicious StumbleUpon Reddit Facebook Google Bookmark Yahoo


  1. I like your use of crossed-out words to disguise your bigotry. ;) However, like you, I would go see anything with U2 involved, even if it was flaming queer, er, homosexual. Sorry, no strike feature here.

  2. Meh. Spidey schmidey. I'm all about Wolverine so they could cast Spiderman with Perez Hilton for all I care. But that Adam dude does a great job on his eyeliner!