Thursday, April 16, 2009

I Just Want To Be Loved - Is That So Wrong?

Last night Mrs. Stickman and I are laying in bed watching TV, and I get up to leave the room.  I had just finished having some cookies and milk, and I wanted to head downstairs to get some water.  (Side Note:  If a guy wants to make some cookies, and then proceed to eat the entire batch, that should be his prerogative, right?  And no one should make fun of him for it, right?  I'm just saying.)

So, I get out of bed and start heading towards the door.  "Where you going?," says Mrs. S.  "I'm moving out," says I.  "OK.  See ya," says Mrs. S.

OK.  See ya?  That's the response I get to moving out.  Now, I know that she knew I wasn't really moving out.  But still!  She could have at least given me a half-assed "please don't go," or a sarcastic "but I can't live without you."  Is that too much to ask?

I think she was so lassaiz-faire (oh, fancy) about the whole thing because she was holding a grudge from earlier in the evening when I kicked her ass let her beat me at a game of Sorry.  She is very competitive when it comes to games.  I, on the other hand - being the selfless person that I am - would prefer to let her win.

Typically if we play Sorry, she gets mad at me because I am too nice.  I go out of my way to not send people back to start.  Which, apparently, "ruins the game."  Last night, however, I was on a roll, and I was really sticking it to her (no not like that! - perverts!).  I can't even begin to tell you how many times she called me "asshole" - that's her pet name for me.   You know, it was just your basic family game night.  The kids loved it.

In the end, she did end up winning the game, however.  So, perhaps, that is not why she didn't care if I moved out.  Maybe it was because of the Olive Garden commercials.

For some reason there were an extra lot of Olive Garden commercials on last night.  And every time one would come on, I would make a comment about going to see Ben.  She wasn't happy with that.

This goes back almost 6 years ago.  We were at OG and we had a waiter.  His name was Ben.  

"He looks familiar.  I think I might know him," says Mrs. S.  

"Is his last name Gay?" asks I.  

After thinking about it for a couple seconds, Mrs. S. says, "No.  I don't think that's it."  

At which point I laughed.  "Is it Dover?" asks I.  

Then she caught on.  And I laughed again.  A lot.  

And I'm still laughing 6 years later!  And last night she acted like it was so awful that I still laugh at that.  As if she wouldn't mock me for something that long ago.  At which point I pointed out numerous things that she mocks me about from that long ago.  At which point she says, "yeah, but those are funny."  

Women and their double standards!  We men - especially us nice, loving, sensitive, and insecure ones - have it so rough!

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  1. Funny because marriages all over the US (and maybe Puerto Rico) seem to be the same. Yesterday my hubs said he was leaving me and I replied “don’t let the door hit ya’ where the good lord split ya’.” So really, it’s all good. ;o)

  2. Ha! "Mr. Ben Gay and Mr. Ben Dover. Please pick up a red paging phone...." Sounds like a fun joke to pull at the airport. ;-)

  3. Bee... perhaps us men should form some sort of support group. Men Married to Meanies Anonymous or something.

    RG... That would be an excellent PA prank.