Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Smell The Flesh Sizzle

We finally had a day of perfect weather. We have been out on the beach soaking up the sun all day. It's just been absolutely perfect. Too bad it wasn't like this every day.

I'm getting my tan on pretty good. So is Mrs. S. We had a good start from our week in the Caribbean in February, so the color is just popping right back out.

The boy child is always tan. I'm pretty certain that he is part Mexican or something. So it takes nothing for his tan to come out.

The poor girl child though... she just doesn't have any pigment in her skin or something. I feel so bad for her. She thinks nobody at school is going to believe that she went to Florida for Spring Break. I suggested we take a picture of her on the beach holding today's newspaper. She didn't get it. Kids!

I am developing some sort of Federal regulation that would equate a square inches of bathing suit to total body weight ratio. For every 10 pounds of weight, you have to have so many square inches of material in your bathing suit. There could be some factors for age and BMI, etc.

This would totally help cut down on people wearing inappropriate bathing suits for their body size. I have seen to many people wearing skimpy bathing suits, that should really not be wearing them. I can't imagine what bizzarro world they are living in where they can walk out their door thinking they look good... or even acceptable. People don't need to see that!

We brought down some Trivial Pursuit questions with us to the beach. We were just randomly asking questions. I think the family now knows that when they call me a know-it-all, that I actually DO know it ALL. There is no denying my superior knowledge of useless crap optional information. I like to know crap.

Take for instance my current book. It's one of those books the family calls "one of those books." It's a nonfiction book about the history of Manhattan (the New York City island Manhattan, that is). I just love knowing the history and how it has grown and changed. It is really making me ready for our annual trip to NYC. I love that city!

That's about all I have. Too many drinks to concentrate. I am ready to go continue vacating! Vacationing? Yeah, that's it.

Stickman out!
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  1. About that Federal Regulation on bathing suits, can you set that up so there is a death penalty for violations? I believe there is a dreadful recidivisim rate.

    I like a man who has a large cesspool of information like myself.


  2. David... death penalty seems like an appropriate penalty for violation. I like the way you think.